-
You're still chasing women but can't remember why.
-
You regret all those mistakes resisting temptation.
-
You burn the midnight oil at 9 P. M.
-
Your favorite part of the newspaper is "25 years ago today."
-
You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
-
You know all the answers but nobody asks you the questions.
-
The best part of your day is over when the alarm clock goes off.
-
Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
-
The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
-
A dripping faucet causes an uncontrollable bladder urge.
-
Your knees buckle but your belt won't.
-
The little gray-haired person you help across the street is your spouse.
-
You look forward to a dull evening.
-
You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.
-
You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine
cabinet.
-
You get your exercise acting as pallbearer for your friends who
exercise.
-
Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you watch a pretty girl.
-
You get winded playing chess.
-
Dialing a long-distance call wears you out.
-
You walk with your head held high trying to get used to your bifocals.
-
Your little black book contains names all ending in "M. D."
-
You feel like the night before, and you haven't been anywhere.
-
Your mind makes contracts that your body can't meet.
-
Your children begin to look middle-aged.
-
You begin to outlive enthusiasm.
-
You just can't stand people who are intolerant.
-
You decide to procrastinate but never get around to it.
-
After painting the town red, you have to wait a long time before
applying the second coat.
-
You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it leaning against the
wrong wall.
-
You stop looking forward to your next birthday.
-
You are 17 around the neck, 44 around the waist and 98 around the golf
course.
