-
You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
-
You have to hold onto the lawn to keep
from falling off the earth Job interfering with your drinking.
-
Your doctor finds traces of blood in
your alcohol stream.
-
Career won't progress beyond Senator
from Massachusetts.
-
The back of your head keeps getting hit
by the toilet seat.
-
Sincerely believe alcohol to be the
elusive 5th food group. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case -
coincidence?? -
-
I think not!
-
Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a
drinking problem!
-
"Norm!" is what they say when
you enter the bar.
-
When you can focus better with one eye
closed
-
The parking lot seems to have moved
while you were in the bar
-
Every woman you see has an exact
twin.
-
You wake up to find Windows 95 installed
on your machine.
-
If you keep asking your wife "where
are the kids?" but you don't really have a wife and you're talking to
the refrigerator.
-
You fall off the floor.
-
You discover in the morning that liquid
cleaning supplies have disappeared.
-
Your twin sons are named Barley and
Hops.
-
Had "Spuds McKenzie" tattoo
removed, replaced it with "Red Dog."
-
Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories
as a burger, screw dinner!
-
Beer: it's not just for breakfast
anymore.
-
The glass keeps missing your mouth. Bill
Clinton starts to make sense.
-
When you go to donate blood and they ask
what proof?
-
Vampires get woozy after biting
you.
-
The only drinking problem is not having
a drink right now.
-
At AA meeting you begin: "Hi, my
name is... uh..."
-
Your idea of cutting back is less
seltzer.
-
When vomiting becomes a relief.
-
Having a hard time staying on the side
walk - left, right, stumble, fall
-
You wake up in the bedroom, your
underwear is in the bathroom.
-
Barney, that dinosaur is damned
funny!
-
You think, Four Basic Food Groups are
Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and Women.
-
Every night you're beginning to find
your roommate's cat more attractive.
-
Hi ocifer. I'm not under the affluence
of incohol.
-
Waking up with a traffic cone between
your legs.
-
No ocifer, I'm not drunk... you're just
sober... Problem?
-
I Drink, I get Drunk, I Fall down....
-
No Problem If on a diet, you cut back
your food calories to allow for alcohol calories.
-
Take me drunk, I'm home!
