-
Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends.
If they're OK, you're it.
-
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the
answer.
-
Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
-
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
-
It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
-
Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
-
If you are given on open-book exam, you will forget your book.
COROLLARY:
-
If you are given a take-home test, you will forget where you live.
-
The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody
appreciates how difficult it was.
-
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning
to others.
-
Paul's Law: You can't fall off the floor.
-
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the
average man can see better than he can think.
-
Paranoids are people, too; they have their own problems. It's easy to
criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid, too.
-
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell and make you feel
happy to be on your way.
-
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on
society.
-
Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you
left them to where you can't find them.
-
Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not
be evenly distributed.
-
Supplement: A 0.44 Magnum beats 4 aces.
