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A closed mouth gathers no feet.
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A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
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A penny saved is ridiculous.
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All that glitters has a high refractive index.
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Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
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Anarchy is better than no government at all.
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Any small object when dropped will hide under a larger object.
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Automobile - A mechanical device that runs up hills and down people.
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Brain -- the apparatus with which we think that we think.
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Computer programmers don't byte, they nybble a bit.
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Computer programmers know how to use their hardware.
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Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
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Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
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Death is Nature's way of saying 'slow down'.
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Do something unusual today. Accomplish work on the computer.
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Documentation is like sex: When it's good, it's fantastic, when it's
bad...
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Don't force it, get a larger hammer.
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Don't hate yourself in the morning -- sleep till noon.
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Drive defensively -- buy a tank.
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Earn cash in your spare time -- blackmail friends.
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Entropy isn't what it used to be.
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Familiarity breeds children.
-
God didn't create the world in 7 days. He pulled an all-nighter on the
6th.
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Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
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Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
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Help support helpless victims of computer error.
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Herblock's Law: if it is good, they will stop making it.
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History does not repeat itself, -- historians merely repeat each other.
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I'm defending her honor, which is more than she ever did.
-
If you don't change your direction, you may end up where you were
headed.
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I'd insult you, but you're not bright enough to notice.
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In the field of observation, chance favors only the prepared minds.
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It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
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It works better if you plug it in.
-
It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
-
Jury -- Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.
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Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
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Life is what happens to you while you are planning to do something else.
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Life's a bitch, then you die.
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Lynch's Law: When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.
-
Mediocrity thrives on standardization.
-
NyQuil - The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-hell-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
-
Old MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement.
-
Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.
-
Reality's the only obstacle to happiness.
-
Silver's law: If Murphy's law can go wrong it will.
-
Some grow with responsibility, others just swell.
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SYSTEM GOING DOWN AT 4:45 THIS AFTERNOON FOR DISK CRASHING.
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The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.
-
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
-
The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.
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The road to to success is always under construction.
-
Those who can't write, write help files.
-
To be, or not to be, those are the parameters.
-
To err is human, to really foul things up requires a computer.
-
Today is the last day of your life so far.
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When all else fails, read the instructions.
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When in doubt, don't bother.
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When in doubt, ignore it.
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Xerox does it again and again and again and...
